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May 17 2018







My face is having uncontrollable spasms. Great. It hurts really, really, really bad.

I think part of why I have trouble explaining pain to the doctor is when they ask about the pain scale I always think “Well, if someone threw me down a flight of stairs right now or punched me a few times, it would definitely hurt a lot more” so I end up saying a low number. I was reading an article that said that “10” is the most commonly reported number and that is baffling to me. When I woke up from surgery with an 8" incision in my body and I could hardly even speak, I was in the most horrific pain of my life but I said “6” because I thought “Well, if you hit me in the stomach, it would be worse.”

I searched and searched for the post this graphic was from, and the OP deactivated, but I kept the graphic, because my BFF does the same thing, uses her imagination to come up with the worst pain she can imagine and pegs her “10″ there, and so is like, well, I’m conscious, so this must be a 5, and then the doctors don’t take her seriously. (And she then does things like driving herself to the hospital while in the process of giving birth. Probably should have called an ambulance for that one!)

So I found this and sent it to her. Because this is what they want to know: how badly is this pain affecting you? Not on a scale of “nothing” to “how I’d imagine it’d feel if bears were eating my still-living guts while I was on fire”. 

I hate reposting stuff, but I’ll never find that post again and OP is deactivated, so, here’s a repost. I can delete this later, i just wanted to get it to you and I can’t embed images in a chat or an ask. 

This is possibly why it took several weeks to diagnose my fractured spine.

Pain Scale transcription:

10 - I am in bed and I can’t move due to my pain. I need someone to take me to the emergency room because of my pain.

9 - My pain is all that I can think about. I can barely move or talk because of my pain.

8 - My pain is so severe that it is difficult to think of anything else. Talking and listening are difficult.

7 - I am in pain all the time. It keeps me from doing most activities.

6 - I think about my pain all of the time. I give up many activities because of my pain.

5 - I think about my pain most of the time. I cannot do some of the activities I need to do each day because of the pain.

4 - I am constantly aware of my pain but can continue most activities.

3 - My pain bothers me but I can ignore it most of the time.

2 - I have a low level of pain. I am aware of my pain only when I pay attention to it.

1 - My pain is hardly noticeable.

0 - I have no pain.

This scale was SUPER helpful in getting my diagnosis/proper attention from the ER doctors this week.  Even if you can’t remember the numbers, it’s helpful for doctors if you tell them “My pain is/isn’t impairing my ability to move or think”

This is super helpful. 

May 16 2018


elphaba: blithe smile, lithe limb, she who’s winsome, she wins him, gold hair with a gentle curl



me: *does not in any way touch my glasses*

my glasses: *spontaneously generate streaks, smears, a map of the new york subway system from 1935, a baked potato, infinity war spoilers*

3879 7257 500


↳ Critical Role + The Onion headlines

3888 b735 500

bad news everyone


i exist

May 14 2018





You, an intellectual: 9+7=16

Me, with ADHD: if you take 1 from 9 and give it to 7 thats 8+8 and 8x2 is 16

Someone, usually a Teacher: NOT LIKE THAT YOU HEATHEN

This is literally how I would have done it

9 is a hungry bitch and takes one from 7, making it 10+6=16


3909 7051 500


Another peek at the paper types coming. Wood slats, frosted white dragon hide and ghost paper!
You can buy my stuff on
I’m also available for commissions.

May 12 2018

Console-free Camping





If you like to play The Last of Us, then try Rot & Ruin by Jonathan Maberry

If you like to play Beyond: Two Souls, then try The Girl With All the Gifts by M.R. Carey

If you like to play Call of Duty: Black Ops (Zombies), then try World War Z by Max Brooks

If you like playing Grand Theft Auto, then try American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis

If you like playing Sid Meier’s Civilization, then try A Game Of Thrones by George R. R. Martin

If you like playing Final Fantasy, try playing Fullmetal Alchemist by Hiromu Arakawa

If you like playing Mass Effect, then try Illuminae by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff

If you like playing Alice: Madness Returns, then try Madness So Discreet by Mindy McGinnis

If you like playing Halo, then try Starship Troopers by Robert A Heinlein

If you like playing Portal, then try House Of Stairs by William Sleator

If you like playing Mario Kart, then try The Lovely Reckless by Kami Garcia 

If you like playing Dark Souls, then try Anna Dressed in Blood by Kendare Blake

If you like playing Life Is Strange, then try We Are Okay by Nina Lacour

If you like playing Stardew Valley, then try How I Live Now by Meg Rosoff

If you like playing Fable, then try Young Elites by Marie Lu

If you like playing Borderlands, then try Velocity by Chris Wooding

If you like playing Dishonored, then try Airman by Eoin Colfer

If you like playing The Oregon Trail, then try Under a Painted Sky by Stacey Lee

If you like playing the Elder Scrolls series, then try The Naming by Alison Croggon

If you like playing Red Dead Redemption, then try Vengeance Road by Erin Bowman

If you like playing Bioshock, then try  Dark Life by Kat Falls

If you like playing Fallout, then try Razorland by Ann Aguirre 

If you like playing Assasin’s Creed, then try The Way of Shadows Night by Brent Weeks

If you like playing Dragonage, then try Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir

If you like playing The Legend of Zelda, then try Graceling by Kristin Cashore

If you like playing Until Dawn, then try Ten by Gretchen McNeil

If you like playing Sonic, then try Maximum Ride by James Patterson

If you like playing Overwatch, then try Bluescreen by Dan Wells

If you like playing Uncharted, then try Passenger by Alexandra Bracken

If you like playing Pokemon, then try Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them by JK Rowling, and Newt Scamander

If you like playing Mario Party, then try Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

This is amazing!!

I have to reblog for two reasons:

1)This is actually a good way to get people into reading.

2)That passive aggressive joke in the last one is pure genius. 


May 11 2018






When I die I want to be buried with grave goods that make future archaeologists think I was of much higher status than I actually was so that my grave will be referred to as a princely burial and I’ll be remembered by some cool name like “The Colchester Barrow Princess” (I’ve decided that I will be buried in a highly visible barrow, possibly with a ship) and the National Trust will erect a small museum about me filled with entirely incorrect but cool sounding archaeological assumptions

Be buried literally holding a sword and axe and then sit back and watch the endless ‘powerful warrior queen v. just usual valuable grave goods indicating a high status individual’ debate from the afterlife.

I want a spring-loaded casket and non-degrading glitter. I will be remembered as “that *£^$% thing that killed Professor Hannover”

As an archaelogist I completely support this.

“Characteristic of 21st century society is the sharp delineation between the funerary practices of more conservative, traditionalist groups and the generally younger and more creative subcultures. While those who identified as more conservative nevertheless frequently included personal items in their grave goods, the individuality of their burials pales in comparison with the eccentricity and extravagance of the neoteric groups.  Funerary archaeologists have been hard pressed to find commonalities between these individualistic burials. It is likely that members of these subgroups competed to include the most unique ritual items amongst the grave goods of the deceased.

One example from Colchester could be read as a highly detailed homage to the seventh-century Taplow boat burial. Dendrochronology of the vessel dates the burial to the mid- to late-21st century. The opulence of the burial is at odds with what we know of contemporary social structure. As such, it is likely that the deceased or their family wished to indicate a strong connection to the area by aligning their identity with the Anglo-Saxon royal history of the region.

Another example, this one from Milton Keynes, included a bewildering array of items. Archaeologists uncovered a Tudor coin, a Whitney Houston CD, and a mobile phone inscribed “Bite me, historians”. Taken together, these grave goods indicate a disdain for archaeological research and the reconstruction of identity using material culture. It is possible that members of this subgroup sought to use creative anachronism to conceal the date of their death. Some researchers have argued that individuals buried under similar circumstances believed that this knowledge could be used for identity fraud or necromancy.

There has been some research done into the psychological trauma associated with excavating human remains. Most of this research has focused on the emotional challenges of excavating mass graves resulting from genocide or plague, with the occasional footnote regarding individual burials (such as the excavation of a lead coffin in Whitechapel which produced a fountain of liquefied Roman remains when the air seal was pierced). It is my view, however, that further research in this field is urgently needed following the sad and horrifying events of the recent excavations on Orkney. I am sure I do not need to go into further detail about the dig that shook our discipline to the core, and will refrain from doing so. For those of a gruesome persuasion, the full excavation report has been lodged with the ADS. Field archaeologists are advised to wear protective clothing including goggles and, where possible, shields when excavating graves of this period.

Professor Hannover is sincerely missed and a monograph of papers in her honour is scheduled for publication next year.”

… it got better.




“Batman has more than one son,“ I say into the mic.

The crowd boos. I begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks and commands silence from the room.

“She’s right,” I hear. I look around for the owner of the voice. There in the fifth row, he stands: Bruce Wayne himself.

“What does he know about Batman” the crowd replies and resumes booing. Bruce Wayne discreetly leaves the room. In an unrelated turn of events, a voice speaks from above. “She’s right,” I hear. There crashing through the skylight: Batman.

#i can’t believe bruce wayne missed his chance to meet batman

May 10 2018






Please watch this series of Japanese gum commercials

You won’t regret it I promise






someone: You HAVE to style short hair.

me, with my hair sticking up in all directions like some kind of square enix protag: Interesting,




A Beauty and the Beast AU where Belle realizing she loves Beast isn’t at some dramatic climactic event but during some randome everyday moment. Like, she’s filing her nails and just kinda glances up at him and he’s like doing something just as dull and it just kinda dawns on her that she loves him but she doesn’t voice it cause she isn’t exactly ready to confront thoes emotions and what they mean so she goes back to filing her nails but then is starts raining glitter and Beast is defying gravity in a glowing ball of light and the castle is changing back and everyone becomes human again. Then everyone is left in silent moment of shock and confusion and Belle, being completely unaware of what it takes to break the curse, is just staring around in horror while everyone freshly humanized comes running into whatever room she and Beast were in (probably the library) expecting to see something other than human Beast in a heap on the ground and Belle across the room in a chair frozen in shock and confusion and everyone just kinda looks at each other for a couple of seconds not realy sure what to say cause nobody is entirely sure what happened other than the curse was broken. Then Beast finaly gets up and looks around and realizes what this means and looks at Belle and is just like “you love me?” And Belle is just like “wat?”

ALTERNATELY: Belle falls in love slowly.  As a result, Beast turns back into a human slowly.  She overhears him singing in the shower (it’s amazing how old pipes echo) and realizes it’s that song she was trying to teach herself on the piano (okay, that the piano was teaching her).  It’s sweet and mundane, and lovely.  Meanwhile, in the bathroom, Beast is humming nervously as he looks at the fur clogging the drain.  He thought at least he’d be free of male pattern balding since he’s cursed!  Later, Belle gets a cold, and Beast brings her soup and sandwiches, and she curses at him because how dare he have such a hearty immune system, and he chuckles and leaves it.  After he’s gone, she notices he cut the grilled cheese on the diagonal, crusts off, exactly right.  Beast, downstairs, trips and falls, because the sudden lack of toe-claws threw off his balance.

And so on and so forth, so slowly she doesn’t really see it, she just assumes her memories were colored by her fear.  Until one day, as he goes out to tend his roses, she yells “Bye, love you!” and when he comes back in, all excited, she nearly beans him with an encyclopedia, because “WHAT THE FUCK, WHO ARE YOU?” and Beast is just “You seriously didn’t notice me turning back into a human?  You are so smart… and SO DUMB, I BEEN NEARLY DYING EVERY TIME, WHY DO I LOVE YOU, YOU BEAUTIFUL DISASTER WOMAN!”

And Belle goes “…what?”

1000% here for Belle the beautiful disaster woman



Soulmates are not your ~other half~, that’s just nonsense. You are a whole person already, not half a person. A soulmate isn’t even inherently romantic. A soulmate is just the other sock in a matched set. You’re still a whole, complete sock on your own, you are perfectly functional paired with any other sock, it’s just that it’s even better when you match. A soulmate is literally just the person who makes your soul go “!!! Same hat!!!” and wave excitedly.

i love this

May 09 2018

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“Pissenlit” brodé sur tulle sur cerceau de broderie par Velvet Meadow.

D&D: Narrative Upkeep


image source: Narsil the Broken Blade (Lord of the Rings trilogy)

I’ve always loved the bookkeeping aspects of D&D. Knowing how many rations I have on hand, realizing that swords can chip and rust easily without regular care, and being careful that my scrolls aren’t exposed to the elements. But sometimes, this sort of thing is annoying to keep track of in a campaign. So for groups that don’t want to bother keeping track of rations and how many lockpicks they have left but still want the roleplaying aspects of visiting the cobbler when their shoes have worn out, here’s a way to handle the group’s “upkeep” in a more narrative way with less actual bookkeeping until something actually needs repair.

Upkeep Roll

Whenever the players take a long rest, roll d% for the group. There is a 5% chance +2% per day traveled beyond the first that the players’ equipment or supplies need attention. If the players have been in 3 or more combat encounters since their last long rest, the chance increases by 5% that day instead of 1%. You can roll randomly to determine the nature of upkeep required:

Roll 1d100:

  • (01-30) Rations Low: The party’s rations have become low and they will need to make Wisdom (Survival) checks each day to hunt or gather more food or else purchase food from a merchant.
  • (31-40) Weapon Damaged: A weapon has become dull, rusty, chipped, cracked, or otherwise damaged but still usable. The damage of a random character’s nonmagical weapon is reduced by 1 until the weapon is treated by a blacksmith. A character proficient in Smith’s Tools can repair the weapon with a DC 13 Wisdom (Smith’s Tools) check. A Mending spell cannot treat the weapon due to the nature of the damage.
  • (41-45) Weapon Broken: A weapon has broken, becoming unusable. One nonmagical weapon belonging to a random character becomes broken. A character proficient in Smith’s Tools can repair the weapon with a DC 16 Wisdom (Smith’s Tools) check. If the break is minor (50% chance), a Mending spell can completely fix it. If the break is major (50% chance), a Mending spell only returns it to a damaged state (see Weapon Damaged).
  • (46-55) Armor Damaged: A character’s armor has become damaged, perhaps from rust, cracks, broken straps, or broken rivets. Leather armor could also suffer from water damage or stretching. The armor is still usable but not as effective. The base AC of one random character’s nonmagical armor is reduced by 1 until the character has the armor treated by a blacksmith or leatherworker. A character proficient in Smith’s Tools or Leatherworker’s Tools can repair the appropriate armor with a DC 13 Wisdom (Smith’s Tools/Leatherworker’s Tools) check. A Mending spell cannot treat the armor due to the nature of the damage.
  • (56-60) Armor Broken: A character’s armor has been completely totaled, becoming unusable. One nonmagical set of armor belonging to a random character becomes broken. A character proficient in Smith’s Tools or Leatherworker’s Tools can repair the appropriate armor with a DC 16 Wisdom (Smith’s Tools/Leatherworker’s Tools) check. If the break is minor (50% chance), a Mending spell can completely fix it. If the break is major (50% chance), a Mending spell only returns it to a damaged state (see Armor Damaged).
  • (61-70) Clothing Worn: One random character’s nonmagical clothing has become worn out. It might be torn or have holes worn into it. Their footwear might be wearing out from travel. Travel, adventuring, and even sleep can become exhausting when your clothes aren’t cushioning you. The character has 1 level of exhaustion as long as they wear the worn-out clothing. This fatigue cannot be removed by resting (further levels of exhaustion are removed as normal unless otherwise stated). Magical means can remove the exhaustion, but it returns after 8 hours of activity in the clothing. There is a 50% chance that a Mending spell will be able to fully repair the clothing damage.
  • (71-75) Spell Components Low: One random character that uses spell components chooses a random spell they can cast that uses spell components. The character cannot cast that spell until they replenish their supply of spell components for that spell. This can either require a visit to a magic components shop or some gathering in the wilderness, depending on the components.
  • (76-90) Equipment Broken: Choose a random tool kit or nonmagical piece of equipment belonging to a random character. The item or tool kit cannot be used until it is repaired, refurbished, or replenished. This may require paying for the cost of the item/kit or a fraction of its total cost for minor problems.
  • (91-00) Potion or Scroll Ruined: Choose a random potion or unprotected scroll among the party. The magic item becomes unusable. Perhaps the potion spilled or the vial cracked or something else got mixed into the potion. A scroll not in a scroll case may have been burned by a spell or damaged by water or gotten torn. A potion or scroll has a 50% chance of being salvageable. A character with proficient with Alchemist’s Tools or Arcana can save a salvageable potion with a DC 14 Intelligence (Alchemist’s Tools/Arcana) check. A character with proficient with Calligrapher’s Tools or Arcana can save a salvageable scroll with a DC 14 Intelligence (Calligrapher’s Tools/Arcana) check.

Once players start acquiring more magical items, they will have understandably less chance of some of their items breaking. This is fine. If you randomly choose a character who doesn’t have any nonmagical armor/weapon to break when the party failed their upkeep check, then the players dodged a bullet. The regular wear and tear that would have gotten a regular weapon/armor didn’t affect them. This also makes upkeep less necessary at higher levels when it is merely an inconvenience.

May 08 2018


I took a test on like where you are on the ‘nonverbal intimacy scale’ and the average female score is 102 and male is 93.8 and I got 56 lolololol

here it is if ya want (reblog/reply w/ what you get!!)

May 06 2018

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